Office Toilet Manners?

NightCrawlerNightCrawler
edited March 2011 in conversations
Ok, I was in the washroom taking a leak to the thundering boom of some guys ass exploding out his McUnhealthy meal. A few sputters, a splat and a few more burrr--r-r-r-r-r-rr splat.... and a loud painful grown.

At what point is it appropriate to start coaching him, giving him words of encouragement or maybe tell him to get the salad next time? I mean, sometimes the grunts sound like death growns.

Better yet, if your taking a dump and some guy offers a helpful suggestion of a healthy stir fry - how would you react?

Maybe a supportive, "PUSH!!! and BREATH!!! HEEAVE HEEAVE HOOO HEAAVE HEEEEAAAVE HOOO!!! now PUSH!"

Or maybe something more subtle like sliding a coupon for a hearty fiber filled salad.

Maybe grab the next stall and go for a game of "battleship"?

He sounded like he was giving birth to a puddle of melted marsh mellows the size of a baby whale. And it smelt like month old walrus cum.

I wanted to stop mid-pee stream and go to the floor below to finish. :(

Comments

  • urbansurgeonurbansurgeon
    edited 6:26AM
    how long was your pee, or did you hang around for the chorus?
  • NightCrawlerNightCrawler
    edited 6:26AM
    Soap, wash hands and environmentally friends hand dryers.

    Good hygiene. I can give you a link if you want to learn more about it.
  • urbansurgeonurbansurgeon
    edited 6:26AM
    no worries, it sounded like he was done all the while you only got to half pee
  • MeskaMeska
    edited 6:26AM
    I expect he was mortified once you hit the hand dryers.
  • mickmick
    edited 6:26AM
    your description sounds like a man suffering from Ulcerative Colitis, which is an awful disease that doesn't show on the outside. that stench was likely from blood. a bad vindaloo or a grease load dump doesn't have that kind of odour.

    maybe stop judging others in the loo.
  • bluesheadblueshead
    edited 6:26AM
    "And it smelt like month old walrus cum."

    I guess only Canadians would know about this. Any comment, mick?
  • nimmotnimmot
    edited 6:26AM
    did he atleast give a courtesy flush?
  • mickymicky
    edited 6:26AM
    I personally don't have a problem with the sound effects. I do, however, have a problem with the smell. We have air fresheners in each toilet and they rarely get used. Smelling a work colleague's own shit is a bit too intimate for me. We might as well come to work naked and smell each other's genitals when we greet each other in the morning.
  • chrischris
    edited 6:26AM
  • chrischris
    edited 6:26AM
    fucking weirdos.
  • mickymicky
    edited 6:26AM
    chris said...
    Now that's gay.
  • chrischris
    edited 6:26AM
    if it was a unisex toilets, i (perhaps) wouldn't say so much, as we all know how prissy some women can be. but a bloke!? ffs.
  • StuartStuart
    edited 6:26AM
    Used to have an accountant that would leave large green hairy poos in the bowl.

    We collected them all up and gave them back to her as a leaving present in a box with ribbon and all that, she was really taken aback and started crying, calling us all names under the sun as we rolled around on the floor laughing and pointing at her. Martin even pissed himself a bit which made us laugh even more, then he got up, ran over to the box and shoved a large one in his mouth while unbuttoning his shirt and proceeded to run about in circles with his arms in the air with tears streaming down his face. We were all crying at this point.

    It was hilarious!!!
  • chrischris
    edited 6:26AM
    must. not. fap.
  • nimmotnimmot
    edited 6:26AM
    chicken said...... We might as well come to work naked and smell each other's genitals when we greet each other in the morning.
    LMFAO!!! :D

    ***COMMENT OF THE WEEK!***
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