Military Institutes New 'Don't Tell, Let Me Guess' Policy

edited July 2009 in conversations
Military Institutes New 'Don't Tell, Let Me Guess' Policy

July 8, 2009 | Issue 45•28

WASHINGTON—Pentagon officials announced Tuesday a new policy toward homosexuals in the armed services, the so-called "Don't Tell, Let Me Guess" system, which gives Pentagon brass the opportunity to state their opinion on a soldier's sexual orientation, provided it's followed by the phrase "Am I right?" "These new guidelines allow homosexuals to serve in the armed forces, as long as they don't show any outward traits that would tip us off and ruin all the fun of guessing," said Adm. Michael Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, who purports to have "excellent" gaydar. "When you make a game out of it, you're much more invested in the survival of your fellow serviceman—at least until you guess whether or not he or she enjoys sex with members of the same gender." Pentagon officials said soldiers who are correctly guessed to be homosexual will face immediate dishonorable discharge, unless they can prove they have killed at least 10 enemy combatants in a particularly brutal fashion.

Comments

  • edited 12:11AM
    ^ LOL! yeah. we don't want to have any killing done while dancing flamboyantly. :D
  • edited 12:11AM
    Making a guessing game out of it - how gay is that?!!!
  • edited 12:11AM
    lol peak.

    (very!)
  • edited 12:11AM
    good one peak'.

    :)

    i am wondering if there's not a secret military laboratory out there right now working on truly reliable gaydar, though.

    those straight people who brag about their gaydar are often wrong. sure, it's easy to identify a girlish man or a manly woman (this DOES apply to women too, right?... right??), but if they realize they're surrounded by people who will fuck almost anything, given enough time without....... their whole world view will totter.


    :D i just realized that i could probably ask any one of you 20 questions that could lead to an assumption that you are gay. do not join the military; it will only lead to heartache, bad farts, and eventual humiliation at the hands of dillwads.
  • edited July 2009
    dont join the army unless you are prepared to kill a child in cold blood to save your commanding officer whom you hate while protecting a belief you may or may not share
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